Finding My Way

"Confidence and nothing but confidence was her motto.

And confidence was what I needed, not in myself but in God, a strong faith that he could use even me, with all my shortcomings, for whatever he wished to accomplish."

I wish I knew where I got this. It is so fitting for me. It might have even been me but I doubt it. I found it in unfiled notes on my phone. I have learned over time that I only seem to speak out when I'm in very comfortable surroundings. Don't get me wrong, I tend to open my mouth a little too much sometimes. However, where matters of my Catholic faith are concerned I am more cautious of what I say.

Let me explain...

I am part of a Small Christian Community (SCC) and we meet twice a month and discuss the Sunday readings in context of what they mean to us and how they apply to our lives. This group is predominantly couples who have been together for over 20 years. They accepted me into their fold in 2012 when I moved to the region. When I became part of this group I did not speak much. However as time passed and I knew it was a safe environment, I spoke up more.

From that group, the ladies began an Endow study. We read studies of papal encyclicals or about various saints (currently it's St. Catherine of Siena). When we get to the discussion questions, I speak. I have thoughts and opinions. In both of these groups I feel "safe" enough to speak and know if I'm misguided someone will lovingly guide me back on the true path.

In contrast I regularly go to RCIA at the local parish. When the director asks group questions of the group, I almost never speak up, at least not to the whole group. I talk a LOT in my small table but then it also depends on who else is sitting there. I have come to realize I lack the confidence to speak with authority about my my faith when there is someone around who I perceive to be far more knowledgeable than I.


Have you ever thought you didn’t know “enough” about Church teachings, Her beautiful history, or Her humble beginnings? I am slowly realizing that it’s OK to not know it all. That any one of us will never know it all. And that by being confident enough to speak you learn how much you actually know.

My confidence in myself will grow as I learn to trust in God’s will that He put me where He does because He trusts me with the experiences and knowledge He has given me.