I have decided to journal my attempt to deepen my faith. I was baptized Catholic as a baby. My mom says she quit taking us (my two sisters & I) to Mass when it got too expensive. That means the three of us going through two boxes of crackers and three rolls of Life-Savers to keep us quiet! My dad didn't go to Mass.
This means I learned a couple prayers and how to genuflect as you sit in a pew but that's it. I knew who Mary was also. When I was 10 years old I wanted to be a Nun. I have no idea why since we didn't go to church at all by then. I told this to no one for fear of what they'd think. I had not been confirmed which also means I had not been catechized. My only guess is that about this time in my life Mother Teresa was becoming very well known.
At the age of 20, I decided to follow my faith. I met with a local priest to begin confirmation (oh and I was getting married and wanted to do so in the Church.) In one of our early (maybe the first!) conversations, the priest made a comment to me about my future husband. I was very unhappy. It wasn't about our decision to marry or my age...anything you might expect. His comment dealt with Ty's job. Basically the priest was putting Ty down for having a job that allowed him to do the things he loved to do when not working. I was more than unhappy! How dare he judge another! Priests aren't supposed to do that! In the end, I held my anger against one man against the entire Church for a LONG time.
I spent my whole life telling people I was Catholic. I even attended a Catholic college. Unfortunately I had NO idea of what that really meant. Sometime after I passed into my 40's I decided it was time for me to learn. I couldn't defend or confirm the things others said about my faith if I didn't know what it meant to be Catholic or what it's basic tenants were. I actually believed when I started this that I would have my anger confirmed and I'd become one of those non-denominational folks.
Luckily for me, I found some great writers. This lead me to join the RCIA group at the church in my parish. In the Spring of 2010, I received the Eucharist for the first time. Unfortunately, my hunger to learn was not satisfied by the brief readings (we read newsletters and answered questions). I kept reading on my own but I don't really learn that way. I need conversation. I need someone to hold me accountable for what I learned... to question how I apply what I know to my life. I was still a lost sheep... just one in communion with Christ since I would go to confession regularly.... but what did it mean to be Catholic.
Two years later, I moved to the parish I'm in now. They have a vibrant community for learning. I had wanted to partake in the Catholicism Project by Fr. Robert Barron at the parish I left but they weren't doing it until Fall 2012. So when I moved in May and saw it in the bulletin for starting that summer, I was thrilled! I went to the first night and met some wonderful and welcoming people. Over the course of the next few weeks, I learned about a small Christian Community (SCC) that was studying the Great Adventure and contacted them. They had just begun so I was coming in on Session 4 of 24. Side note: a couple of us had asked for the Great Adventure at the other parish and the person in charge didn't want to do it... this was another confirmation that I had found my way to where I belong!
This SCC had been together for many years. Their now adult children had gone to school together. They'd been to weddings and funerals together and so much more. I marvel out how much this group knows and how much they make Jesus, Mary and the Holy Spirit part of how they think and talk daily. However, they accepted me like I had always been involved. And that's where this journey begins... one of the couples gave all of the ladies the book 33 Days to Morning Glory: A Do-It-Yourself Retreat In Preparation for Marian Consecration by Fr. Michael E Gaitley, MIC.
33 Days to Morning Glory
I actually started the book on Wednesday, April 10. This will have me finishing on May 13 the Marian feast of Our Lady of Fatima. There is a small passage to read daily. So the start (even though it's Day 5) of this will be to summarize and comment about each day's readings.
Day 1 - The Passionate Saint of Brittany
Day 1 talks about St. Louis de Montfor's fiery temper. It gives some background on his life but the point is the passion that creates such a temper. This made me think of my own temper. It goes on to say how he learned to channel that "fiery passion not to threats and voilence but to laboring for the greater Glory of God." WOW - That strikes a chord with me! And so I will set out to turn MY fiery passion into Glory for God. I'm sure I will fail at times but I know with the help of Mary and the Holy Spirit I can succeed!
Today's Prayer - Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary...Help me to make this retreat with generosity and zeal.
It is my hope to turn my anger into zeal for the Church and all her Glory.
Day 2 - St. Louis's Influence on the Church
Today the topic is how St. Louis inspired so many. There is a list of Popes and the comment "May the testimony of their support strengthen our resolve to journey on to Consecration Day, and may it helps us to trust that our consecration truly will bear great fruit in our lives..." Many of the popes listed used de Montfort's writings for their own teachings on the Church. So as it was with them and many others, I'm hoping to bring these teachings into my daily life.
Today's Prayer - Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary...Prepare me to give myself fully to living out this true and solid devotion.
Day 3 - De Montfort's Consecration
There are two main emphases of de Montfort's teachings on Marian consecration.
- Renewal of our baptismal vows
- A particularly intimate gift of ourselves to Mary.
Today's Prayer - Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary... Give me the grace to reject Satan and follow Christ more closely.
Day 4 De Montfort's Consecration (part two)
"Why should we give ourselves to Mary?" Two main reasons:
- Jesus gave himself to Mary and we are called to imitate Jesus.
- Mary has a special role in our sanctification - she can help form us into saints.
Today's Prayer - Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary... Help me to give myself entirely to Jesus through Mary.
Day 5 Should We Really Give Mary Everything?
Mary is not out done in generosity. She hears our prayers and knows who is most helped by them. As I imagine it is for most people, this one was hard for me. I want my prayers to go to those that I pray for... my loved ones... my friends...my self... see a theme here? It's about me and my will. It shouldn't be. I need to learn to follow...errr... trust Mary and the Holy Spirit to let His will be done.
Today's Prayer - Come, Holy Spirit, living in Mary... Help me be generous in giving all I have to Mary.
Ok... all caught up! I promise the next post won't be so long!
Believe,
Bobbi
